Seven Laws of Emotional Intelligence

7 Laws of Emotional Intelligence :Major(R)Khalid Nasr
The 7 Laws help you to recognise that your feelings and emotions are powerful. You become more effective in situations when you learn and apply practical ways to manage them.
Let’s look at each of the 7 Laws:Law #1: I am responsible for my own feelings:In order to be responsible, you must first recognise your feelings.Hurricane Dean affects everyone, often in extremely tragic ways. Some people lost their life or loved ones, many lost their homes, their crops, their property, their animals, their pets. Nearly everyone lost their sense of comfort. Even if you haven’t experienced a loss, your feelings are affected when you hear and see news reports of the devastation that other people have suffered. Law #1 encourages you to recognise what you are feeling, for example, anger, bewilderment, shame, frustration, grief,horror and so on. You don’t need to use pretty words, but you must find a way to express how you are feeling. Some people cry, others bawl out, some play music, be it gospelor reggae (Bob Marley often features strongly), others play dominos, others stay in touch by telephone or cleave to loved ones or neighbours.Prayer and meditation work for many people. Some write or read poetry or their Bible.Law #2: I am responsible for my own behaviour:Find a way to express how you feel. Being emotionally upset and even traumatised is a natural reaction to surviving a potentially catastrophic natural disaster. You are a unique individual and you’ll express your anguish in a unique way.Psychologists warn that we experience loss in 4 stages;1. denial2. questioning3. acceptance and4. recovery. Each of us progresses through these stages at different rates. These strong feelings can continue to affect you long after the hurricane has passed. It may help if you recognise that these feelings are a natural part of the grieving process.Law #3: I always have choices about how I respond to situations, events and people: Recognise that those around you may respond very differently to the hurricane. Encourage them to express how they feel,as long as they are not harming you or others. Don’t get caught up in thinking that their behaviour is odd. A hurricane is an abnormal event. Don’t add to your stress by being intolerant of those around you. Your ability to empathise will help you to pull through whatever the circumstances.Take special care with your children and young people in your care. They will often be really terrified. Encourage them to express their emotions, maybe they will want to talk or draw pictures about the experience during or after the hurricane.
Law #4: No-one can make me upset, angry, happy etc:
Law #5: Identifying my choices empowers me to take fresh look at my behaviour:Accept your limitations. You can’t have regular hot baths,you can’t eat exactly what you want, you can’t watch your favourite TV show. You can’t work as efficiently as normal.Yet somehow, mysteriously, the world still turns.You’ll raise your stress levels if you harbour unrealistic expectations of what you can do. Clearly identify the things that you have no control over and separate out the things that you can influence. Law # 6: Recognising my range of choices is an excellent way to start changing my behaviour for the better: Now that you’ve separated these two areas,focus on the things that you can influence and start to take step by step action. Listen to the radio and get weather updates, share the crops that have fallen from your trees with your neighbour, make sure that everyone around you is safe, seek help from your pastor. As you take these small steps, your confidence will gradually increase. Stand firm and keep your spirits up. Law# 7: I can practice and learn new and more effective behaviours: Life is here to teach us things.If you learn from your experience, we can move forward and deal with whatever comes your way. You’ve done it before, step by step and in faith and you can do it again.The 7 Laws don’t an insure you against a disaster, however I encourage you to accept that how you feel and react to the hurricane is under your control. Express your feelings, help others to express their emotions, accept the aspects of the disaster that aren’t within your control and work step by step on the aspects that you can affect, learn from the experience and progress, step by step towards a better future.